poem about the Capricorn
(an extract from Schastèl’s life)
Due to her artistic character Schastél is hardly understood. For this reason her further development interrupts at a specific point of time in her life. She senses the artist dying inside of her and her life is fading. Her true inner being is always more vanishing and during the nights she feels fear coming up inside of her. One night among many nights the death of fear tries to take her and she starts to write about her dreams.
For weeks I could not sleep anymore. Every night I awake with
It moves through my inner being and it takes my body. My body tightens. My limbs are contracting and I feel myself becoming cold matter. Cold matter is graping my body. I see the death announcing inside of me. The life is fading away and the fear is taking my being. Arriving at my jupiter it stays looking around. With my conscious will I try to stop it taking me. I try to move and straighten up but my limbs are solidified. I try to stand up but my body has become a cold stone. With open eyes I slowly fall into the death of solidified fear. Little seconds later I can see the picture of a skull looking out of mine. Slowly loosing the control the remains of my original personality start to panic. I try to refuse the cold matter that I am sensing to become but with hard muscles I can not move. Panic is taking me. I can see the picture
of a Capricorn
there where my sun is placed. I try to speak. I try to shout but the words do not want to come out of my mouth. They do not arrive there where the reality starts. During one of the many nights when I lie in a petrified position and I feel the life fading away from me I scream in despair those words that I know from the teachings of Elisabeth Haich: “This is me and that is you. I am not you. I am not scared.” I scream with an apparent conviction. Very slowly I start to seperate myself from the Capricorn. I try to see it as a picture inside of me. Convincing myself that it is not identical with me I distance myself from it from one night to those that follow. It slowly vanishs more and more and one morning after many months of nights with the Capricorn I can see the world’s light again being able to feel the love inside of me again.
Her whole life long Schastél had believed in justice (look at Schastél an overview in the menu issue Schastél series). After having gained the experience of the Capricorn her believe is broken. In the running of the following years she matures and she becomes Schasa (You can find a characterization of the figure Schasa in the film Schasa for justice which I put in the menu issue Schastél series.).
All contents of this website were made by Elios Schastél film productions.